Bitterness
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Wes runs into Travis and one of his foster mothers at a restaurant. Some secrets from Wes's past comes to light.


For as much as I ship Travis/Wes I don't really write them as a couple. I don't know why that is. Anyway, this could possibly become a series, but I'm not sure yet. For now it's a one-shot. I hope you like it.

Warnings: Child Abuse.

If you want to be kept up to date with redos on stories or want to know more about stories that will be started soon or even ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing!

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A sigh fell from Wes's lips as he lifted his glass to his lips. At the insistence of Travis and the rest of the couple's group he had started to go on a handful of dates. It had only been two dates and both had ended horribly.

They kept telling him how happy they were he was moving on though. Something that echoed in his head every time he thought about not going on one. He was just so tired of being either disappointed or being a disappointment.

Tonight was his third date since he started this whole thing. At least it was supposed to be. His date hadn't shown up though so he didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do now. It had only been half an hour and there were many reasons for someone to be that late.

If he was at work with Travis than the man would still be in bed at this point in time. That was a totally different situation. How long do you wait before you come to terms with the fact you've been stood up? Was there an etiquette? Was it incredibly sad that he cared?

Downing the last of his scotch he placed some money on the counter and stood up. He just wanted to go back to his hotel room and go to sleep. Something that he hadn't been able to do a lot of lately. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he was tired of it.

Taking a deep breath he started towards the door only to run into someone. Biting back his anger he opened his mouth to offer an apology only to hear his name. He had to stop himself from letting out a groan when he heard the voice.

Of course he'd run into his partner on tonight of all nights. It wasn't as if he wasn't going to find out that he had been stood up anyway. They had group tomorrow and they all knew that he was supposed to be with someone tonight.

There was two ways that this night was going to go now. One, Travis forced him to join him on his date and he had to watch his partner flirt his brains out with some chick. Two, he was going to get this pathetic look before he was able to go to the hotel and sleep.

Why did he have to go to a nice restaurant instead of the one at the hotel? Travis never brought any of his dates there. It would have been so much safer and he wouldn't have to go far before he was able to fall into bed.

"Hey, Baby," Travis grinned dragging the younger man from his thoughts, "Hot date in the bathroom?"

"No," Wes replied making sure his voice was calm and even.

"No? There where...Oh. Got stood up? Don't worry happens to the best of us."

"Like you? I don't see a date anywhere. She not show up or are you walking out and leaving her with the check?"

"You wound me! I would never do that. And no, I'm not on that type of date. It's one of my mom's birthdays. You kept talking about this place so I decided to bring her."

"Ah. I'll just be going then. Have fun."

A bitter taste was in the back of his throat as he started to walk away. He hated how much those words always got to him. The last thing he should be is jealous of his partner, but that was exactly what he was.

He had this family that he had built from the ground up. An amazingly strong family that always had his back. It wasn't that he didn't think the man deserved it. He just wished that he could have a fraction of that love from his own.

That didn't matter though. The time in his life where his family played any part was long over and there was no point in looking back. He was an adult now. Anything that happened to him when he was a child was over.

Sometimes it was hard to remember that, but for the most part he could. It was only when Travis brought up any of his foster mothers that he ever flinched. Dr. Ryan would have a field day if she ever found that out.

He got halfway to the front door before Wes found himself finally able to get his emotions back in control. It was one of his biggest fears. He had seen what happened to people that let their emotions control them and he would never be like them.

Taking one last deep breath he looked up only to stop once more. There was no chance that he was seeing what he thought he was. No, his mind was just playing with him because he was tired. That made much more sense than what he was seeing.

Walking through the door was an African-American woman. She looked to be in her late sixties, but she was exactly how he remember. In truth, he was never going to forget the woman no matter how long since he had seen her.

That didn't mean he wanted to see her again. He had meant it when he said that he wanted to leave the past where it belonged. If they ended up seeing each other than they were going to have to talk and that was the last thing he wanted.

A voice in the back of his head told him to turn around and leave out the back way. It would be easier on everyone if the woman didn't see him as well. If she did than he'd have to speak to her and that would open to many questions.

Before he could turn and move towards the back exit he felt a hand patting his shoulder. Turning his head to the side he saw Travis walk passed him and to the woman. Instantly Wes felt his heart drop.

He had had all of the answers in front of him and yet he still missed it. Of course she was here. Because today was her birthday and Travis always took his foster mothers out for dinner on their birthday. It was the same thing he did for Wes on his birthday.

Travis had a thing for birthday, something Dr. Ryan would always have a field day with. Even with the times that Wes didn't want to remember his birthday the man was right there with a smile and a dinner and Wes's favorite place.

For all the times that he yelled at the man and called him names he knew that Travis was a good man. A much better man than he was. Not that he wanted to think about that. It only lead to anger and heartache.

There was no point in trying to deny it. Every time they left the office to talk to a victim or they went to group he saw just how different they were. He was extremely jealous of the man. Something that he tried to hide no matter how difficult.

The sudden urge to go back to the bar and have another one or five drinks came to mind. It would be easier than having to deal with everything. Something that he knew was wrong to be thinking.

Blinking a few times he watched as his partner hugged the older woman causing her to smile happily. He found himself turning his face away from them and shake his head. He wanted to push the memories away before they started.

He couldn't stop them though. They rushed past his closed eyes reminding him of everything that he wanted to forget. Reminding him of everything that she had taught him in the short time he knew her.

He did his best to make sure he never thought of her and what had happened then. It wasn't that he was embarrassed by what had happened but he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want anyone to know what had happened.

The time that he had spent with her had meant the world to him and he hated that. It was safer if he didn't hold anything close to him. It had been made clear to him that he always seemed to care for thing that no one else cared for.

Of course by no one had meant his partner. It wasn't all the surprising if he really thought about it though. The whole world seemed to revolve around the older man. No matter how much he tried to fight it.

The first time he was introduced to Travis by Pac-Man he had found himself hoping that the man remembered him as well. That wasn't what happened though. Unless the man had just decided not to tell him.

That was hard to believe though. Travis would use everything he had on him in group. If not to just see how freaked out he looked by being blindsided. Which meant that the man had forgotten about the time they spent together as children.

As soon as those thoughts filled his mind Wes found himself shaking his head. He had forced those thoughts away after they'd been partnered for a few months. Back when they had been friends and Travis would have been happy to call him another one of his brothers.

Those days were long over and Wes wasn't going to be the one to bring them up. Not when the relationship that they already had was teetering on the edge on a good day. If he brought it up than those good days would end. He wasn't ready for that.

"Wes," Travis spoke up a smile on his lips, "This is one of my foster moms, Alice LaSalle. Mom, this is my partner Wes Mitchell."

"Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you," Wes greeted feeling more than a little stiff, "I'm sorry to run out so quickly, but I must go. Happy Birthday, Ms. LaSalle."

Even as Wes moved to walk passed the older woman he caught her eyes. They were still the most beautiful green that he had ever seen. So full of warmth and happiness. It was not something that he was used to being directed at him.

A part of him hoped that she didn't recognize him like Travis hadn't. Then he watched the same gentle smile come to her lips that she had when they first met. Of course, she knew who he was. After all these years she knew who he was.

He had only been in her house for four months when he was six years old, but she never let him out of her sight for very long. He still didn't know why she did that. He doubted that he was ever going to find out either.

He saw the woman open her mouth to say something to him. Not knowing exactly what she was going to say the man finally gave into the urge to run. Brushing past her he left the restaurant as quickly as he could without it looking like he was running.

Getting to his car he fumbled with his keys only to have them slip from his fingers. A dejected groan fell from his lips as he rested his head on the roof of his car. He really didn't have the energy to bend down and pick them up.

Lifting his head he looked down the street towards his hotel. It wasn't all that far away and after all the drinks he had waiting for his date he really shouldn't be driving anyway. Walking would be the best plan.

Before he could bend down to pick the keys up he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Looking over he watched his partner grab them and slip them into his pocket. Apparently the man thought he looked as bad as he felt.

Wes opened his mouth to tell him to keep the keys when he froze. Ms. LaSalle was standing a few steps behind his partner with a worried look on her face. He really hated that he was the one that caused her to look like that.

Not wanting to look at her anymore he dropped his eyes to his partner and saw that he looked just as worried. He really hated that look. It was like people were expecting him to fall apart at any moment. He didn't do falling apart.

"Travis," Wes sighed glaring at the older man, "I thought you were having dinner."

"I was," Travis shrugged tossing the keys in the air and catching them, "But then I saw my partner tripping over his own feet and I had a really important question to ask."

"And what question is that?"

"How much have you had to drink?"

Even though Wes has d been thinking along the same lines he found anger filling him. He thought that his partner would know him well enough by now to know that he would never put someone in danger by driving drunk.

For as impulsive as he could act when he was angry he would never put someone else's life on the line. His own he would be fine with. He was a cop after all. His whole job was putting his life on the line.

He didn't have a leg to stand on in the argument, but he still found himself spinning on his partner ready to start in on him. Then he saw Ms. LaSalle staring at him and he deflated instantly. He couldn't yell in front of her. No matter how much he wanted to.

Seeing Ms. LaSalle made him feel exactly how he did when he first met her. It was something that he never wanted to feel again. He wasn't some weak child anymore and he was never going to be that again.

That wasn't all that was in his mind though. No, he had all the rules that his parents had pounded into his head. Ones that he had forced himself to unlearn as he grew up and joined the real world.

Still, that didn't stop him from straightening his spine slightly. His hands came up to tug at his suit to make sure that it fit correctly. It might have been years since he had been taught how to wear a suit, but it wasn't something one forgot.

At least it wasn't something one forgot when not remembering involving being smacked. His mother had been a judge. The two of them had gone to many fundraisers over the years. He had learned how to look perfect so she got as much money as she needed.

"Travis, baby," Ms. LaSalle spoke up knocking him from his thoughts, "Why don't you go inside?"

"What?" Travis questioned turning towards her.

"Go inside. I want to talk to your partner."

The older man looked like he was going to argue only to have Ms. LaSalle level a glare at him. A sigh fell from his lips before he turned around and walked back into the restaurant. Once he was out of sight Wes turned back to the woman.

He wanted to say something, anything, to her, but the words escaped him. Was there anything that he could even say? They weren't close anymore. They never were if he was going to be truthful with himself.

That didn't mean that he didn't have some things to talk to her about. Mostly telling her that he had kept their first meeting a secret from Travis. She was the only person that could reveal that he had lied.

Wes wasn't sure that she was going to keep it from the older man though. If he had remembered correctly...Hell, he had only been six years old when he had left her home. His memories couldn't be trusted.

Before he could say anything though he felt strong arms wrapping around him. His breath caught in his throat at the feeling. It wasn't one that he was used to. He just wasn't the type of person to like human contact much.

"Ms. LaSalle?" Wes questioned his voice barely over a whisper.

"I never thought I'd see you again, Wesley," Ms. LaSalle responded tears clear in her voice.

"I'm sorry?"

"Let me look at you, Sweetheart."

Ms. LaSalle held him at arms length away her eyes roaming over him. He could feet his cheeks heat up at the scrutiny. The feeling he was used to, but it seemed different when she did it. There was a warmth to it.

A soft noise of appreciation fell from her lips as she pulled him into another hug. He stood there stiffly not knowing what he was supposed to do or say to the woman. Everyone knew that he was not the best person at emotions. There was a reason that Travis was his partner and a reason Alex decided to leave him.

"You look amazing, Dear," she continued before pulling away fully a wide grin on her lips, "Though I do believe anything would be better than our first meeting. How are you? Have you been well?

She sounded so excited and happy. Something that should have made him feel better, but instead it just made him feel more on edge. He thought of all the times he had failed in his life. He was going to disappoint her.

The idea of running away once again entered his mind. Travis knew that they were outside though and even if they couldn't see him he was sure the man was watching. There was no way he could walk away and leave her alone.

He was not good in situations like this. Hell, he should never be part of any situation like this at all. They made him feel as if he was trapped and he had a tendency to strike out when he did. He didn't want to do that with Ms. LaSalle.

"Wesley?" Ms. LaSalle questioned resting her fingers on his cheek, "Are you alright?"

"I..." Wes tried to start wanting to explain what he was thinking only to change his mind at the last second, "He doesn't know."

For a moment the older woman looked confused at his words. He couldn't blame her. He had changed the subject, but he simply couldn't deal with answering her questions about his life just yet. Maybe ever.

"Who doesn't know what, Dear?" Ms. LaSalle spoke up going along with it.

"Travis," Wes motioned towards the restaurant, "He doesn't know about… You know."

"That does explain a few things. I'm assuming you would like to keep it that way."

"Please."

"Okay, I can do that. To think I was going to ask him to look you up for me."

"What? Why?"

A gentle smile came to the woman's lips at his confusion. That seemed to be a look that people gave him all the time. He could usually guess what the right thing to say or do was, but sometimes he was just out of his grasp.

Without saying a word she pulled him down to her level and placed a kiss to his forehead. Instantly he thought of her doing the exact same thing when he had been taken from her home. She had looked so sad.

"I think of all of my kids," Ms. LaSalle offered softly her fingers lovingly running over the side of his face, "Even those that don't stay long. Sometimes especially those that don't stay long. You were special though, Wesley. I never wanted you to go. I never… I knew it wasn't safe for you."

"I was fine," Wes shrugged calmly not believing his own words.

Instead of responding to him she placed another kiss to his forehead before pulling back. His heart skipped a beat at the idea that she was simply going to turn around and walk away. She had said her peace there was no reason to stay.

She didn't walk away from him though. Before he could really think about it he was being handed a piece of paper. Blinking a few times he read over it not fully understanding what it was he was looking at.

"Call me, Dear," Ms. LaSalle whispered hope blazing in her eyes, "I want so much to be able to get to know you now. Please, call me."

"What if..." Wes started his eyes flickering to the restaurant.

"Don't worry about, Travis. It'll be our little secret."

He didn't know what he was supposed to say back to her so he simply nodded his head. With one last smile she turned and walked into the restaurant and back to Travis leaving him questioning what he was going to do now.


End file.
